Like I said a couple of posts back, I was terrified of starting back school and meeting new people. I was worried that I wasn't going to be accepted like I was in my first-semester group. After today I realized that I had nothing to worry about. Much like last semester, I have a small group of people that I get along with, that form a part of the teams we have to have for our projects. But completely opposite of last time, these people not only accept me but also support me.
I found this out because today in class when my best friend wasn't sitting right behind as usual and I needed help with understanding something, one of the boys tried to explain to me too. <3
And not just that, my team and I had to go to one of the girl's houses to work on a biology project and they didn't talk about stupid stuff or mess around the whole time. We ate our pizza, worked on our project and kind of just talked a bit about things. We talked about how this one girl is crushing on a boy from her church and what happened last semester with the boy that wanted me to do his homework. Two of them were talking about circumcision on the way back from dropping one girl off at the bus stop (I have no idea how that conversation got started). The boy that walked with me to the plaza for the bus, most would just be quiet and walk, but he kept a conversation going. It seemed like he was actually interested in hearing me. (Don't you dare think I got a crush on him. He's cute but taken.) My point is, the conversation was of actual substance and not meaningless chatter.
I can't say for the whole group, but at this point, most of my classmates seem more mature than the last ones. I know I may not be much more mature than them, but I am not the typical teenager either. I don't want to go to class and hear you joking about how you want to kill yourself (this has happened once so far and he admitted that he knew he shouldn't say thing like that), or how you hate "otakus" so much and constantly bully them just for them liking the things they do. For someone who suffers from a mental illness, taking that in daily makes life so much harder. I often call my old group "toxic" because of the way they made me feel.
It simply amazes me how a change in the people surrounding you can make you feel. I feel content. Almost happy, having something more to look forward to every day. I go to bed tonight with a light heart and a clear mind, knowing that I have one less thing to worry about.
So here's to this small group of six people that have become a small sanctuary of patience and understanding for me. May you continue to have plenty of it so we can be friends 😂.
So just a quick rundown of my first two weeks of my second semester:
-All new teachers, except for the art teacher, who gave us social studies before.
-My English teacher doesn't know English as well as I had hoped. She pronounced "often" without the T because that's how she heard it in songs (?).
-My chemistry teacher kind of freaks me out. She explained how one molecule in a compound can change water from something necessary for life into a poison that will kill you immediately.
-I don't like my Spanish teacher. She caught me with my piercings and had me take them out.
-My Physics teacher thinks we live in the Matrix. He's special (if you can tell).
And I believe those are the things that have stuck out to me the most. It's not much, but that's what happens when you overthink things constantly and space out during class.
Lastly, never forget, its okay not to be okay.
Goodbye and goodnight, my lovely readers. <3
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